The relationships you have are the key to living your best life – but why is that the case?
And what role does mental fitness play?
In this episode, coach Travis Ramsey talks about the importance of putting yourself first, what it really means to love, and how to deal with conflict to improve the quality of your relationships and your life.
- Travis believes that mental fitness is an area that can always be improved.
- Ask yourself “Am I doing fine or am I hanging loose?”
- You don’t live the best life you can imagine only for yourself but also for those around you, the people you care about the most.
- Travis challenges you to engage in the process of improving your mental fitness and not letting “I’m fine” get in the way of being great.
- Travis brings up a study that looked at how people of different ages and walks of life define success.
- Having meaningful and fulfilling relationships was the common denominator in people’s answers.
- Travis suggests taking a moment to reflect on the meaningful relationships in your life.
- Think about all relationships in your life: with your loved ones, with friends, with co-workers, your romantic relationships, the ones with your children and grandchildren – is there anything lacking?
- As Travis explains, a relationship with oneself is reflected in our relationships with others.
- What you experience in relationships with others – like impatience, pessimism, and constant criticism – is something you’re doing to yourself, says Travis.
- Travis recommends thinking about how you treat and speak to yourself when you’re linked to something or didn’t do something as well as you would have liked…
- For Travis, to love is “to see, to know, and to embrace.”
- Being afraid to be rejected after having put oneself out there is one of the key things that keeps people back from deep love.
- Travis talks about what he considers the main difference between accepting and embracing someone.
- Travis unpacks the concept of how to deeply know yourself and your partner, as well as the importance of love languages – and understanding yours and your partner’s.
- Mike shares how getting to know himself better helps him in his relationships with others.
- For Travis, not feeling seen, and feeling rejected or neglected, can be traced back to feelings of hurt, guilt, and disappointment.
- And these things are what keep us from being and feeling the best we can be and feel.
- Mike brings up the idea of spending more time doing what one is great at vs. spending more time to improve on something one isn’t good at.
- Mike believes that people shouldn’t spend 50% of their time doing things they aren’t good at, but rather just spend 10% of their time doing that.
- Travis talks about the role of discipline and how it plays into you doing (or not doing) things.
- Truly listening to someone, without any particular agenda than actually wanting to know them on a deeper level, can really be a powerful element of your growth process.
- As Travis puts it, the relationships in your life don’t need you depleted or barely hanging on, they need you at your best.
- Travis points out that if you’re a service-oriented person putting yourself first may be challenging because it may feel like a selfish thing to do.
- Travis explains the difference between truly loving yourself and someone who loves themselves in a self-centered manner.
- According to Travis, the thing we’re seeking from other people is actually what we’re seeking and want from ourselves.
- Travis notes that relationships need a five-to-one ratio of positive to negative interactions.
- There’s something that seems to be “hardwired” into our DNA: it’s better to assume the worst than it’s to assume the best.
- Travis touches upon the power of reinforcing positive behavior.
- Think about what motivates you more on a daily basis, such as someone highlighting your shortcomings or acknowledging the good you’re doing.
- Travis discusses the importance of remembering that sharing your appreciation for someone should be done using a love language they can “hear.”
- Understanding that there’s room for different points of view, and acknowledging them from the start, is a powerful thing.
- Travis talks about solvable and unsolvable problems, as well as permanent problems in relationships.
- There are two different ways to approach problems: acknowledging them and wanting to solve them together, and looking at them in an adversarial way.
- From a communicative standpoint, Travis recommends getting rid of all the “always” and “never” when you speak.
- For Travis, friction and tension often come as a result of our beliefs and expectations about someone.
- When we understand that people have a right to exist exactly as they are, it lessens our feelings about whatever created tension in the first place.
- Travis points out the whole idea of a relationship: the difference between partners, and their unique strengths and abilities.
- Travis shares his advice on what to do whenever you find yourself in an intense argument or challenging debate.
- Mike talks about his approach to mental fitness within L&H and what will happen when you have mental fitness and your unique abilities.
- Mike discusses what the L&H team can learn from a great time such as the Chicago Bulls in the 1990s.
- For Mike, the focus should be to work on improving mental fitness, then unique ability, followed by flow, and, ultimately, group flow.
More information and episodes:
honestlybetterfitness.com/list
L&H Industrial at lnh.net
Zoom.us
University of Washington
Socrates
Dan Sullivan
Julia Waller
